Friday, November 13, 2009

Be Strong

“Stick together, work together, find solutions, create a positive environment, treat others with respect, work as a team, be responsible for your own actions, fight for your rights, earn respect, and always present a positive image to your community and the public. Have confidence and be proud of what you do and who you are.”

“I no longer use drugs or booze. I keep a journal and attend a 12-step program. I swim and go for long walks. I forgive myself and understand the choices I made in the past were the best I could at the time.”

We are resilient, aren’t we? We are able to withstand almost anything. We are very strong individuals. In fact, sometimes when we leave the industry, we start to become vulnerable. Then we recall how strong we can be, and revert to our tougher selves. This is a power we all have within us. It’s just that adult entertainers use it regularly.

We all have moments of feeling weak, and that's okay. It is part of being a strong individual - to allow ourselves to be vulnerable (when it is safe to do so) - as that allows us to be honest with our processes and our selves.

While retiring or once retired, we sometimes experience feelings of sadness, guilt, grief, shame, fear, or anger about the life we’ve left and the constant survival mode we existed in. We may need to separate ourselves from the work and criticize it for the painful experiences that we feel it brought upon us.

This is not only normal; it is extremely healthy to experience these emotions. They are part of the healing process. Just be sure to carry them out to their conclusion – which is the safe, healthy, and well-rounded human being you see in the mirror.

Even in the worst circumstances, we develop skills in this work. We become mentally prepared for anything. We learn to have a backup plan. We learn survival techniques – we practically invented them. We are resourceful, resilient, and revolutionary as a community. And we have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

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