“It’s just a part of the job, seeing clients who are paying you to brighten up their lives. So many of our clients carry heavy emotional loads. It can’t help but affect us.”
“I experienced a lot of internalized homophobia from dates who took out their own anger/frustration/shame on me. This ranged from cold/unfeeling quickies to rough/violent episodes.”
“There were days when I thought of myself as a counsellor. I felt that clients actually left feeling less guilt and shame than when they came in to see me. Other days I was just numb.”
As sex industry workers, we are on the front lines often dealing with people who are looking for solace, some kind of respite from the pain of their lives. There are many techniques entertainers use in different situations. Here are some suggestions from contributors to this guide:
- If your client is experiencing extreme emotions, the best thing to do is listen.
- I have never experienced an angry customer. And if I did, and he was angry towards me, I would probably leave.
- I leave if it’s too much.
- Talk to them and help them through it.
- Distract them with sex.
- People with disabilities- be compassionate, support them, this is the noble part of our job.
- I feel bad for them but I have to let it roll off of me.
- It is better that there is no emotional connection whatsoever.
- I have done a lot of studying of psychology. I'm not exactly a therapist, but I can relate and understand.
- This rendezvous is based on fantasy and illusion. If too much reality gets in, I remember it is his life and it doesn’t have to affect me personally.
- I respect his sensitivity that he felt comfortable enough to talk about it with me.
- I always have the power to redirect the topic of conversation.
- With some of my clients, listening was the primary activity during a date.
- I ignore customers who project their anger or other frustrations onto me and I try not to give them much thought, so as to not take on their negative energy.
- I massage the customers and then clap my hands three times to dispel negative energy. A plant in the room where you work will dispel negative energy too. Crystals can absorb also.