“My advice is to choose a lover who has been involved in the industry on some level, and is non-judgemental, and actually knows what goes on in your work. It is best to pick someone who is open-minded, supportive, and is open to talking about your day at work in a positive way.”
“Be completely honest with your partners, above all else. They will be a wonderful support system when you need it.”
If you want to have a meaningful, fulfilling relationship with your partner, the best way to do that is by telling the truth.
However, that does not mean you need to share every detail of your past or your work life with your partner. In fact, he or she may not be the right person to talk to about work at all. At least for sex industry workers, much of our work talk tends to happen with other workers.
Although you may be with someone you can talk to about anything, for most sex industry workers, being too honest with a partner can be harmful. Your partner’s interpretation of events may be very different from yours. Some things might be better left unsaid.
Some advice for relationships from other workers:
- Tell your partner that if he gives you an ultimatum, you will choose the job.
- Talk about how it is your job, and you need to work to live.
- Save serious relationships for when you’ve retired.
- If you are getting involved in a love-interest relationship, be platonic friends first. Tell your friend what you do. Find out if your friend can handle what you do.
- Being in a love-interest relationship with secret adult work hanging over your head is too much drama. It is disrespectful to the other person as a human being.
- Guard yourself and don’t out yourself right away.
- Find a lover who you can include in your work. Someone who wants to make adult movies together. Or someone who wants to perform BDSM shows for cuckolding clients. Maybe you can escort as a b/g team?