In adult film and modeling, you often must work with other performers. Even if there is a personality clash, you still have to appear hot for each other and perform sex acts on each other.
If another worker is giving you attitude, ignore her. If she verbally attacks you, try not to return the attack but simply defend yourself. Continue to treat her with civility for the rest of the time you work together, but don’t go out of your way to befriend her.
Don’t try to make it all better or fret about it. Let it go and move on. You can’t please all of the people all of the time. And in the long run, the other workers will respect you for maintaining a professional distance regardless of the melodramatics happening around you.
With more competitive entertainers, distance yourself and refrain from disclosing much, if any, personal information.
Sometimes it is beneficial to talk it out if the other entertainer is open to it.
Quotes from Sex Industry Workers
“Sometimes when it’s a bit desperate we fight- you took my regular-you owe me money. Sometimes people even lie and say you owe them money because they know you can’t remember.”
“For web cam, I worked at a company where the other industry workers could link onto my work computer while I was trying to lure in customers. This was unfair, as they would pretend to be customers and waste my time with a bunch of free chat that lead nowhere.”
“Sometimes a girl jumps in a car before me. I let her have it [the client]. I figure she needs it more to do that.”
“Sometimes I truly felt it was necessary to fight, both verbally and physically, to demonstrate that I wasn’t going to be bullied. Other times I ignored conflicts, in hopes that they would pass. Most conflicts didn’t last more than a few weeks. Alliances were made and broken and re-made very quickly.”
“I have interacted with other workers I have pulled dates with other workers we took care of one another it was like family. Until the drugs really hit. Then things changed. There was a shift that took place in Boys Town. It became more about drugs.”
Colleagues In Solidarity
If you get along with each other, hanging out with other entertainers can be the best part of the job. No one else understands your motivations so well. No one else is as fun, or funny, or honest as other sex industry workers.
Their jokes are the funniest because we get them all. Their stories are the most fascinating because we live such interesting lives in this industry. Their ideas are the most outrageous. Their comebacks, the most creative. Their personalities, the most charming.
Sex industry workers are pros at drawing people in, seducing clients with our personalities first. Then we are pros at making people comfortable and accepted. Our skills work on each other too. It’s a relief to be around other socially skilled people.
It’s also much easier to talk to other sex industry workers, since we don’t have to worry that something we say will be offensive or inappropriate. It’s difficult to balance such an open, direct lifestyle with the taboos of the straight world we live in. Some of us get tense in regular situations for fear of saying “the wrong thing.”
With other workers, we can talk about our ass zits, our relationships, our customers, our frustrations, whatever. And, we understand each other. Because we all have ass zits, relationships, customers, and frustrations. And we’re all busting our asses in the sex industry.
Some things you should NOT say to squares:
I hope you don’t mind if I pee while I’m on the phone with you.
I’m taking a few days off work due to rectal bleeding.
Check out my new boob job! (lifts shirt)
Keep the Peace
One of the best ways to get along with other sex industry workers is to keep your space small and tidy. Don’t leave your clothes or costumes lying all over the place. Don’t have your makeup spread out across the counter.
Bring your own supplies. Don’t use other people’s belongings without asking first. And don’t be late causing the schedule to get behind.
Here is how some Prince George workers are helping each other:
“We share dates and let each other go first if they need the money more. We also do duos and watch each other’s backs.”
“If one has a problem, others come running. If he’s hurting her, we’ll stop it if we can. If it is drug or pimp related, we’ll have to stand back and help the girl after.”
Advice for supporting other sex industry workers:
- Share experiences with each other.
- If a worker is not out of a call on time, check on her.
- If you have a really bad experience, post a note that nobody should see him.
- Give advice, safety tips.
- Show new workers the ropes.
- Try not to undercut.