Friday, November 13, 2009

Our Sexuality

“It has had a mild impact on my sexual relationships. Because I've really found what I enjoy in sex, it has been difficult to go back to traditional vanilla relationships. But not impossible, I just really need to be truly enamoured with the person.”

“I would use my sexuality to boost my confidence. I would take men home for a few hours, then kick them out when I was done with them. I still have issues with my sexuality, trying to find the balance between housewife and stripper, as well as what I really want from a sexual relationship.”

"Sexually speaking, performing in an adult film is not satisfying at all and can be quite frustrating as the sexual performances are only for the purpose of other people's enjoyment"

"Stripping for eleven years was an amazing experience that freed my mind from the constraints most people feel about their sexuality. Being naked in front of hundreds of people was sexually empowering and not a bad way to meet guys. Yet finding a significant other that loves you for who you are instead of what you look like is difficult as a stripper."

"My job is my personal sexual relationships; when I am horny, I go to work!"

Being sexy is the job, so it goes without saying that the job impacts our sexuality. Inhibitions have a lot less power over us. We become more secure in and comfortable with our sexuality.

We talk quite freely about sex and all things sexual. There is a rare comment that makes us blush.

Sometimes we are sexually drained from work, and so neglect our lovers. Sometimes we respond in the opposite way. Watching other men seek services when their wives are withholding sex inspires us to meet the needs of our partners more consistently.

It is sometimes difficult for us to be sexy for our partners because it feels fake. We do it so often for money, that it can seem insincere doing it for the people we love.

All of these are normal feelings that are felt by many sex workers. Do what feels right for you. When it comes to sex, there are no right or wrong answers. Isn’t that what we’ve really learned in this business anyway?

(See Chapter 7 – Our Relationships, for more information about managing personal relationships in this industry.)

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