Thursday, November 12, 2009

Sex Worker Etiquette

The following information was compiled from ChezStella.org’s “Dear Client”, as well as from contributors to Trade Secrets.

“Paying for sexual services does not mean you’ve paid to do whatever you want to a sex worker. And, just because you’re young and good-looking, don’t expect a discount because you think it’ll be a real treat for the sex worker!”
“Treat workers the same way you'd treat the guy who changes your oil or makes your takeout pizza. You want someone to do a service for you, treat them right.”

"Please, please, please wash your hands! And if the girl hands you a small toy to put in her, it’s probably a non-confrontational way to distract you from sticking your fingers in her. When I explain to guys that touching a vagina with dirty hands can cause infection because it’s so internal, they seem surprised – they don’t stop to think that it is not like a penis, which is an external body part."

  • Do not phone me from an unlisted, private, or blocked number.
  • Don’t phone me to attempt to get free phone sex out of me. I answer a lot of phone calls and often I am in public when I answer. If you are interested in booking, after a quick chat regarding the basic info, we can do the dirty talking once in session. I am a professional.
  • Ask clearly in advance what type of services you would like to receive.
  • Don’t make me travel for nothing. Travel time is time away from work.
  • Have the fee ready upon my arrival. Please don’t make me ask for it. And don’t try to re-negotiate the price after or during the session.
  • Pay in cash, not with drugs, alcohol, gifts, or anything other than cash. Would you want to go to work for stuff rather than a paycheque? Gifts are nice, but they are a bonus.
  • The hour starts when I arrive, not when you decide it's time to start with the sex.
  • Please understand that most workers will not accept drinks, alcoholic or non-alcoholic, that are not opened in front of them. Life is just too risky.
  • Swearing can be offensive and it can suggest aggression. If you swear excessively or it is not part of a funny story, it can be confusing for a worker to know its meaning.
  • ALWAYS use protection. Don’t risk your own health and the health of your professional, family, other sex partners, etc. Condoms are necessary for oral, as well as for vaginal and anal sex. Using a condom is non-negotiable.
  • Don’t do blow (cocaine) right before you have sex. Or if you do, be aware of the amount that you can do and still get hard (and NOT get violent or insane).
  • Wash yourself, especially your genitals and anal region, before you visit me. I’ll appreciate it and you’ll get better service. If doing anal, douche self or be clean.
  • Talk to me and treat me with respect and dignity. Don’t call me slut, whore, dirty, cheap, etc, in the middle of a session. If you disrespect women or men or lgbt/2-spirit folks or sex workers or certain ethnicities or whatever… please deal with those issues. Or at the very least, don’t share them with me. Don’t use me as someone to take your issues out on.
  • If you would like an erotic conversation or dirty talk, or to use particular words during a service, speak with me beforehand. It is essential to respect my limits about my decision. I can be comfortable with some things, and not with others.
  • Words and expressions like “hard/soft”, “rough/ gentle”, and “fast/slow” have different meanings for different people. Be clear about what these words mean to you.
  • If I say no to something, do not ask me again. No is no and I'm not going to change my answer the more you ask me.
  • Please don’t ask me to tell you that you have the biggest dick, or you're the best lay, or you’re my favourite, or whatever. Just don’t put me in that position, ok?
  • Don’t leave marks.
  • Shaved balls can be pokey. Please be gentle.
  • Agree on a service, time, location (when relevant), and stick to it. I don’t like surprises like being taken to a strange place, or having my time hijacked. Keep in mind I may have other clients or other responsibilities waiting.
  • Don’t try to save me.
Street Etiquette
“I don’t have all the time in the world for what most of them pay me. I can’t always stay and get it finished. Especially with coke dick and drunk dick.”

  • Pay to have the worker get in your car and negotiate.
  • Each sex worker has a preferred place to go. Let her bring you to her favourite spot where the service will take place.
  • Always pay in advance. Respect the fixed prices of the worker, and don’t try to bargain her down to a lower price. Do not discuss prices on the street. On the street, the majority of sex workers charge by the service, not by the hour.
  • If the person you have approached on the street for a service does not respond or says “no”, do not insist. Walk away.
  • Respect the people that live in the neighbourhood. Do not ask for a service on private property, for example.
  • Bring some handi-wipes and a plastic bag for easier cleanup.
  • Don’t throw used condoms, their packaging, tissues or other pieces of garbage in the street. Put them into a trash bin at the corner of the street, at the gas station or elsewhere.
  • Don’t ask to see the worker’s arms.
  • While in a car, leave the doors unlocked.
  • Get to know the sex worker’s name, and share your name as well. If someone bothers you, you could say that you are in the company of your new and charming friend.
  • Don’t be cheap. It drives the market down and all sex workers suffer as a result. It also jeopardizes safety when sex workers are out there putting themselves in harms way for $5.

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