Thursday, November 12, 2009

Should I Tell or Should I Snow (quotes)

No one can give you the answer about whether you should keep your occupation a secret or not. It’s really a personal issue. But here are some of the things other sex industry workers shared for Trade Secrets.

“I don't speak openly about my work to my parents, as they are senior citizens and I do not want them to worry. I still have never told them.”

“Follow your instincts. Nobody has to know everything about you. There is nothing wrong with dirty little secrets. Be prepared to have them find out somehow, and think about what you will say.”

“Own it. Because if a secret comes out, you want to be strong. If you’re ashamed about it you’ll be judged harder. Better to tell than to have it found out and used against you.”

“My parents are from a different generation and would not understand my choices or reasoning behind working as an escort. They also would not consider it valuable work that contributes to society. They would be highly disappointed in me and that's not something I want to deal with.”

“My last partner knew and had issue with pro sub work since he was dominating. He had no problem with my doing massage or dom work. Accept it, deal with it, or leave me alone.”

“I do not want to be judged because of what I do. Sometimes it is hard because they just wouldn’t understand.”

“Do what you think is right. Sometimes it will hurt other people for them to know.”

“I don’t want to see pain in their eyes.”

“My friends from that era were not one hundred percent accepting of me and my choice to work as an escort. I cried for acceptance. I explained why and why until I was drained from talking. Not everyone got it. Being a stripper was okay in their rationality, but being an escort was not.”

“Sometimes you can see the perception people have in their eyes, as they look at you, change from one time to the next. I shudder to think I was becoming just another character in her life to gossip about.”

“As an independent, I have gone through many battles and come through safely on the other side. I do not associate with people who cannot respect me.”

“One of my parents does not know I am currently in the biz. I told that person initially, but the shock and horror was so extreme. It was planned that I would be put in a mental hospital. I learned that person could not handle it.”

“Lie. I think this is of good will.”

“With the exception of my boyfriend, my closest personal relationships are the ones I have with people in the stripping industry. I often shy away from spending time with family and non-industry friends because doing so entails lying to them about a huge portion of my life - that is, what I do for a living. This ongoing avoidance of family and non-industry friends is a large source of stress.”

“Not everyone can handle being with a sex worker or even knowing a sex worker. We have to function in mainstream society, so we remain secret.”

“Since I have completely come out of the closet without shame, I have felt less judgement and hostility than I ever felt when I was keeping it a secret. It’s liberating.”

"Do not hide your adult career from those you love except for young children who would need to grow up before they should hear about or be confronted with the adult industry."

"I kept my job a secret for several years. My parents found out and supported me. My 90-year-old grandma said to an aunt (who was against me stripping)… “You are just jealous, I would do it if I could!” I was so proud that my family accepted my choice in life. I wrote my Dad from Tokyo Japan everyday to share my experience performing in another country. I flew my mom to Athens Greece to see me perform for the first time and hang out on the Greek islands."

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