Thursday, November 12, 2009

Strip Club Etiquette

“Customers shouldn't assume strippers are uneducated and have no ambitions outside of dancing. At the same time, they should also understand that stripping for it's own sake can be an enjoyable, empowering and profitable activity, and that NOT having ambitions beyond the business is perfectly fine. For many girls, stripping is their career and customers should respect that. They can show this respect by refraining from asking patronizing questions such as, ‘Where do you see this job leading you?’ and ‘What are your goals in life?’"

"If you don’t listen to my rules on contact, you will not get a very good dance. It’s not on purpose, it’s just that if the trust isn’t there, then I can’t take my eyes off your hands, and thus can’t give the kind of dance that most customers seem to prefer."
  • Do not blow on the dancers' precious parts. Did you know that tiny particles of spit come out of your mouth when you blow?

  • Do not wave your tongue suggestively at the dancer. While it might seem appropriate under the circumstances - she's naked, you're horny - this behaviour is vulgar and offends the performer.

  • Do not try to force eye contact in an effort to put yourself above the other customers who openly stare at the pussy. Honestly, the dancer does not care if you look at her pussy, so go ahead and look. Even better? Tip.

  • Do not get up and leave in the middle of a show. It is disrespectful to the entertainer and also makes her look bad to management. You're probably on a tight schedule and just have to leave and it has nothing to do with the dancer, but in the eyes of management, she can't keep the customers in the club. Plan to leave next time as soon as a dancer finishes her set instead of walking out halfway through. Of if you have to go, leave a tip on stage to apologize.

  • Clap after every song. We really appreciate it. Doing a good show has a lot to do with the energy we get back from the crowd. So if you're appreciative and attentive, you'll get a better show for your $6 beers.

  • Do not yell obscenities. This goes along with the tongue-wagging thing. Remember that strippers are not aliens that were made to dance naked for men. They are real women and prefer to be treated with some respect.

  • Even if you aren't interested in getting a private dance, buy a few tickets from the dancers who are selling them. They only cost $2 to $5 depending on how many you want. If you win the dance and really don't want it, just tell the dancer you were buying tickets to be respectful but she doesn't have to do the dance. She'll adore you for that one! If the club insists on her providing a dance, you can always give it to someone else. Just remind that someone else to tip.

  • If you would like a dancer's attention when she's performing on stage, simply place money in front of you on the stage. Do not wave the money in the air; do not ask, "What are you going to do for it?"; do not yell, "Get over here!"; do not ask her to pick the money up with her genitalia or other body parts; and do not take the money back when she's not looking.

  • If you invite a dancer to your table for a drink, buy her one when she gets there. For those honest guys out there, you'd be surprised how many guys will entice a dancer to their table for a drink, then "forget" to buy her one or avoid paying for the one that's brought over.

  • Do not sit in front row and slag the dancer who's on stage. She can hear you.

  • DO NOT TAKE PHOTOS OR VIDEOS OF THE DANCER WITH YOUR CELL PHONE.

  • Do not touch the dancers or servers in strip clubs unless expressly given permission by the person being touched.

  • Do not put your hands, drink, jacket or anything else on the stage. It poses a safety risk to the dancer - and the audience members, if she were to fall off the stage. It is also her personal space and your imposition is disrespectful.

  • Do not pull the dancer's blanket to get her closer to your seat. You could make her fall and get seriously hurt.

  • Do not read a newspaper in front row during a show.

  • Do not smoke cigars in front row. It is very hot under stage lights and moving around can get a dancer breathing. Sucking in strong gusts of cigar smoke while overheated is not a good combination. Even dancers who like to smoke cigars do not like to inhale them second hand while on stage.

  • Do not assume that an exotic dancer sells sex or does cocaine.

  • Do not sit in the club for hours nursing one drink. Your patronage pays for the dancers shows. If you want to see strippers, help to keep the clubs open. Buy another drink - even if it's a pop or bottled water.

  • Do not bring your girlfriend to a strip club if she is clearly jealous or uncomfortable. If you can’t tell when she's feeling this way, here's a good way to know. She's giving dirty looks to all the female staff in the club, especially the strippers.

  • If there is no one in front row - move up there to keep the dancer company for her show.

  • Smile and clap. This should be number one because it is the most important. You'd think it would be the most obvious too. But it's not uncommon to hear complete silence between songs in a bar full of drunk, drooling men.

  • If there are other men in the club being rude to a dancer, stand up for her by:
    -explaining nicely to these men that their behaviour is making everyone uncomfortable, not just the dancer; or,
    -telling the guys to shut up and back off or get out; or,
    -telling the manager or bouncer about the problem and insisting on some action because it's wrecking your strip club experience as well.

  • Do not steal a dancer's panties. They are expensive! If part of a dancer's costume falls off the stage, retrieve it for her and place it back on the stage. She'll thank you for it.

  • Do not lean in too close to the stage near the pole - you might accidentally get kicked. To err is human. Strippers are human too. (really, it's true)

  • Do not cup your mouth and whisper to your friend, then burst out laughing. The dancer will wonder if there's something stuck in her teeth or her tampon is showing. Insecurity does not make for a good performance. She's naked, so expect her to be a bit vulnerable. Good energy only, please.

  • Do not point out spots missed shaving or lint and such stuck in places you're privileged to see. Just accept that this is a real woman and if you want flawless, pick up a magazine instead. Strippers are there in the flesh - love them the way they are, cellulite, zits on their asses, ingrown hairs and all. They'll love you in return for your good energy.

  • Do not complain about music. She dances to what she likes to dance to. Period.

  • Do not yell "take it all off" in the first song.

  • Do not ask her how many children she has if she hasn't mentioned anything about having children. Just because you think you know based on her stomach, doesn't mean you're correct. There's such a thing as bloatedness that happens to all women for a few days every month. And it's the quickest way to make that dancer feel fat and insecure. This job is about nudity. Try to be supportive.

  • Do not stroke yourself, however indiscreetly, during a dancer's performance.

  • Do not insult the other dancers thinking it will impress the one you're chatting with. It doesn't.

  • Control your alcohol intake. Dancers always respect and appreciate customers who have control over their booze and their hormones. We're more likely to sit with you, hang out with you, and look forward to seeing you when you're in control.

  • And finally, do not harass her to know her real name. Likewise, don't be a "white knight" attempting to "save" her by telling her she's too smart, good etc to be a stripper. It's condescending and demonstrates your complete lack of understanding about the job. It's a job.
Strip Club Tipping Etiquette
  • Place your tip on the stage rather than in your mouth or by handing it to the dancer. In BC, there are laws against tipping that involves contact. Dancers and customers cannot pass objects between them by (liquor) law. Many dancers are very uncomfortable taking tips with their breasts, as well. They fear getting fined by the club or charged by a liquor inspector. And regardless of whether a dancer is willing to take tips with her breasts out of your mouth or not, none of them prefer to take tips that way over being given the tip on the stage. So, it's just a lot more respectful and considerate to do it this way.

  • This is not an issue in Alberta where there is a barrier between the stage and the audience. And customers show appreciation with the loonie and toonie toss. Even more appreciated is a toonie wrapped in a bill. Please do not toss coins that are smaller than loonies. And never heat coins up before throwing them. If you see anyone else doing it, tell security, as it can cause third degree burns.

  • If you're uncomfortable tipping on the stage - really shy or something - you can give it to her personally at the DJ booth. But if you give the tip to the DJ, the dancer may never see it. The DJ may simply forget or he may not be trustworthy.

  • If a dancer has posters to throw out to the crowd and you really, really want one - give her $5 for it. Posters cost money. Take into consideration the photo shoot, the cost of printing and everything, and we're looking at thousands of dollars that led to that poster you're hollering for. Dancers appreciate earning some of that money back when tossing out posters to the audience.

  • Always tip your server and your VIP dancer. For drinks, $1/drink is appropriate. For VIP dancers, $5-$10/dance is appropriate depending on how long the dance lasted.

  • If you expect a dancer to sit with you for a long period of time when she's on a VIP shift, pay for her time. Pay her what she'd likely make doing private shows - the equivalent of two or three dances should suffice for a bit of time - and her drinks. If your conversation is compelling enough, she may hang out for a long time. If she gets antsy to go back to work, you can offer to buy her a drink when she takes her next break, or if you can afford to and enjoy her company - pay the equivalent of two or three more dances again. A warning though – dancers will not sit with a guy that is being vulgar or touchy-feely, regardless of how much he is spending on her. Dancers have their limits on what they'll tolerate. Do not assume that spending money on a dancer gives you the right to treat her disrespectfully.

  • Some dancers don't like to drink alcohol at work, so they may accept your offers of drinks but have an arrangement with staff to get juice and the money instead. If you suspect this is the case, let it go. Chances are at least some of her drinks are real. And she'll sit with you all day if she's earning money for it. Dancers won’t sit with an arrogant or vulgar customer for $5 or less per drink. If she's still there, you must be interesting company.

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