Saturday, November 14, 2009

Treat Your Clients Well

“The type of customer we get depends on where we meet them. If we are on the Internet in a higher paying site, we meet that customer. If we are under a dark bridge at four in the morning, we meet that customer. If you have an attitude like you’re going to rip off a customer or are being a bitch, the customer will reflect that attitude. We are also in their space; our energy can change the mood.”

The following tips will help you promote safe and healthy experiences with your clients, and protect other sex industry workers as well.

  • Be honest and upfront from the beginning. Let them know you aren’t looking for trouble.
  • Treat customers with the same respect you would like to be treated with.
  • Don’t rip off customers.
  • Do not lie about yourself (weight, hair colour, non-smoker, etc). Overt false advertising makes customers mad - sometimes bringing them to act violently towards their next service provider.
  • Do not steal from their home. If you want more money, raise your rates and learn new skills to provide a better service.
  • With Domination, you hear a lot of crazy requests. Try to be as non-judgemental as possible, but feel comfortable in asserting your boundaries.
  • Be careful when attempting to expand your services. If you change your mind after you’ve tried to offer something new (Greek, etc), you could get assaulted as many clients hate to be refused once in session.
  • Treat each customer the same regardless of how you feel about him or her personally.
  • Understand that the way you treat a client will have a ripple effect on the next sex industry worker and so on. Watch each other’s backs.
  • Perform what you have negotiated.
  • Treat them like people. You're a customer service professional, your job is to provide a person with a service, not look down on him for seeking the service.
  • Respect your client’s right to privacy.
  • Engaging in fun conversation is part of the territory. This can include some personal topics and questions. Whenever you talk about something personal, be sure to include a non-intrusive comment such as “…if you don’t mind my asking”.
  • Be nice to the nice ones. If they are mean, end the session immediately.
  • Agree on a price, time, location, etc and stick to it. They don’t like surprises any more than we do.
  • Don’t humiliate them (unless that’s a part of the agreement).
  • Don’t leave marks (unless that’s a part of the agreement).
  • Always remember – you’re in charge. That means the work is on your terms and on your time. Don’t compromise your values or your safety. For example, if you have set a limit at no contact, or no GFE (Girl Friend Experience), don’t let the customer convince you to change your mind in the middle of your session.
  • Maintain healthy boundaries – they are a client, not your boyfriend or girlfriend. Respect that they have a life outside of you.
  • Do not treat clients with contempt because of their appearance, their age, their race, their penis size, or the length of time it took them to reach orgasm.
  • If you treat clients well with all your heart, they can feel it.
  • Know your own personal boundaries and communicate these clearly to your customers. Do not let customers persuade you to go beyond the boundaries you have set for yourself. Do not let other workers' personal boundaries influence your own behaviour.
  • Do an interview to find out his interests or if he has disabilities (joint problems) before the session starts and let him know your protocol – meaning how you will behave.
  • Make sure your client has a safe word or hand movement if gagged.
  • Be personable. Sometimes they want to talk.
  • Don’t clock watch.
  • Be conscious of the cultural traditions of your clients, when possible.
  • Treat your client with honesty as far as what is consistent with the entertainment and fantasy aspects of the service.
  • Do not call them tricks or marks or other demeaning terms.


  1. I am a sex worker, and I take issue with some of these tips:

    1)Overt false advertising may sometimes lead them to be violent with the next worker!

    Not all men/clients act with violence as this may pertain to. You hint a girl should always be honest or the next trick could try and beat her ass. What a way to install fear. How about being honest with you who are and what you offer, will result in a better over all experience for all, instead of alluding to you better watch your ass for the next guy may try to beat it.

    2)Be careful when attempting to expand your services as many clients hate to be turned down for something that has been offered, and you maybe assaulted.

    Again, another crock. This hints towards the majority of men will become violent if refused. Most if not all of the ones, I have seen, are quite the opposite. This is also painting men/clients with the same picture.

    Yes, you do have to clock watch. Make sure the session doesn't run over time. And do an interview? What the hell where you thinking? What trick is going to want to answer a 1,000 to one questions when he walks in the door? That query right there is enough to get the door slammed in your face, or worse,

    Give your head a shake

  2. Hi Sweet!

    Thanks for your comments. I am also very sensitive to perpetuating myths about patrons of the sex industry. So I am glad you made your points.

    However, the advice in this guide comes from sex industry workers who are offering advice based on their experiences. We respect that not all experiences are the same, and have tried to represent contributors equally throughout the guide. We also offer the ability to make comments so that visitors like yourself can offer your perspective too.

    In the case of "doing an interview," it was meant to be advice for people during a phone conversation prior to the appointment. My understanding is that many dungeons use this procedure consistently.

    Thank you for sharing your opinion, as it is important to emphasize that most patrons are not violent or aggressive. I agree wholeheartedly.

    However, please contain your posts to respectful disagreement rather than attacking the views expressed here.

    The contributors to this guide deserve to be safe from condemnation, as it is difficult to share this kind of information with others and put it out there in the world to be judged.

    We sincerely appreciate the contributions of everyone who participated and do not want them to regret their involvement.

    Thanks again,